Growing up, I had my life figured out. I would marry at 22 and have 3-4 kids with the husband of my dreams. In my mind, my plan was foolproof. But suddenly I turned 23 (and then 24, 25, 26, 27, 28 and 29) and I didn’t have a husband or kids. In fact, my life looked nothing like I had planned.
Did I miss something? Why haven’t my plans come into being? Is there something terribly wrong with me that I’m not aware of?
I had been praying, hoping, believing…all to (seemingly) no avail. Was God even hearing me, or had I reached the point of no return?
Turns out that yes, God was hearing me. I just wasn’t hearing Him. Funny how that works, huh?
All I could see was my apparent lack-what he wasn’t doing. And because I was so fixated on my perceived lack I couldn’t see what he had given me.
On days I beg him for answers-He gives me Himself.
On days I feel alone and unseen-He gives me Himself.
On days where I wonder if my situation will change-He gives me Himself.
Because, when it’s all said and done, married or single, joy or sorrow, triumph or failure, Christ is all I have. The status of my current situation will never change that.
Do I still desire marriage and children? Yes, I do. Is it something that I must have to be fulfilled and happy? No, it’s not. Christ has already done that for me.
Are there days that I struggle? Yes. Absolutely. But I have found Him to be faithful and it is from His fullness that I have received grace upon grace.
” God cannot give us peace and happiness apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.” – C.S. Lewis