Words Fail Me
Get Ripped, Shredded, Toned, Firmed, Steeled, and Blasted!! April 28, 2009
Ever noticed how most workout DVDs or aerobic classes have some of the most interesting names? At my local gym, several aerobic classes were offered under the name of “Build and Burn”, “Total Body Sculpt”, “Body Challenge”, “Body Master”, and my personal favorite: “Thighs, Butt, and Gut.” Because there is nothing like saying “I’m going to the gym for Thighs, Butt, and Gut. See you later!” I feel sorry for the person I have left standing there trying to wash the image of me doing something with my thighs, butt backside, and gut. It’s too much for the human mind to comprehend.
All of this has led me to one conclusion: we need new workout titles. I’m all for the ones called “Get Fit!” accompanied by some pleasantly plump, perky people in brightly colored leotards. Or even the ones called “The Ultimate Workout” with some not-so-pleasantly-plump people on the front. Those people are more like “working out is what I live for, and you will too once I’m done with you.” Those people mean business.
But the ones that I can’t stand are the ones that claim to “BLAST AWAY BODY FAT!!!” “SCULPT YOUR ENTIRE BODY” it’s as if I’m some sort of art project, that needs to be blasted and sculpted into a mass of muscle and steel.
But my favorite of all time has the be one from the great 1980’s early 1990’s: yes, I’m talking about none other than “Buns of STEEL”.
First of all, who is appealed to having “Buns of Steel”? I’m all for having a toned backside, but a steel one? No. No, thank you. There are many things I could point out here, but I will refrain since I still don’t know who reads these posts (if anyone). So I shall refrain from further discussion.
Onward.
So with my dislike of all the names of the various workouts on dvd or at the gym, it might surprise you to know that I have purchased this:
No, I do not like the title, and yes, I do think the title ranks up there with “TOTAL BODY SCULPT”. But, did you see the subtitle? In case you didn’t it says: Lose up to 20 pounds in thirty days. Do not adjust your monitor, yes, UP TO TWENTY POUNDS IN THIRTY DAYS. I like the subtitle, I like it alot.
So I’m going to be shredding in a few days, we’ll see if it lives up to its claim…
Sunshine On My Legs Makes Me Happy April 27, 2009
Oh ya’ll! The sun is out! Hence, the title of this post. In fact, I was able to wear shorts on Saturday. This of course resulted in many people shielding their eyes from the blazing white light, but I did manage to get just a speck of color on them! This excites me greatly.
For as long as I have been living I have always had legs that resemble a corpse’s. Not that they’re cold, rather they are white and pasty. Fortunately, where I live I don’t have to wear shorts to stay cool in the summer, I can get by with capri pants and be just fine. This has been extremely helpful in the past, but I’ve found myself wanting to wear some of the cute dresses and skirts I’m seeing in the stores. So I have made it my personal mission to make sure my legs are at least red this summer. After all, red is better than pasty white.
Now, lest you think I’m playing with fire, and trying to contract skin cancer, I only stay out in the sun for thirty minutes at a time, 45 minutes at the most. If I’m going to be outside longer than that, I slather myself with this:
Which makes me look like this:
Ok, so it’s not that bad, but it’s close. I do take my sun protection very seriously. Just not for those 30-45 minutes that I’m protection free. Ahh, freedom, sweet freedom. How I’ve longed for thee. For those 30-45 minutes I am able to know what it feels like to be one of those people. You know the type I’m talking about, the type that can go outside without protection and turn a beautiful, golden brown in a mere thirty minutes.
These types have always baffled me. It is completely unfathomable to me that you can go outside and not turn a color that resembles a boiled lobster. Completely unfathomable.
I have a feeling that this type of skin will always allude me. I’ve been trying for 21 years, and still no golden brown. Just a bright red, that hurts. But this summer? This is THE SUMMER! I have had enough! I am mustering all my courage, and rebelling against “White Leg Syndrome”, enough is enough…
I’ll keep you updated on my progress.
Now do have a great Monday…
4.16.05 April 16, 2009
Dear Evie,
Today is your 4th birthday! It’s really hard to believe that you’re four!?!? Wow, time really does go by fast! I can remember sitting in the waiting room at the hospital waiting for you to come, and I couldn’t wait! You were my first niece, and I was so excited to be an aunt!
Little did I know just how much of an impact you would have on my life. It’s amazing how much a 7lb. baby can change things. I remember holding you for the first time and marveling at how tiny you were, and then I remember thinking that you were a miracle. Everyone loved you so much (we still do.).
As you started growing, we began to see your little personality and all the little things that made you tick. You were very cute (still are), and would say some of the greatest things. I remember one time when you told me you were waiting on “Prince Charming” to come, and since he hadn’t come, you were going to e-mail him. I also remember me asking you one time ” Evie, who made this mess in the kitchen?” and you replied “God”. From the very beginning you have always made me laugh with your cute ways.
Evie, you have brought so much joy and love into my life. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone so much until you came. You are a special girl, Eves!
Evie, I’m praying that you will surrender your heart and life to Christ at an early age. It is my prayer that you will follow Jesus and love Him with all your heart. God has such a special plan for you, and I for one am excited to see what it is!
In closing, I have picked out a bible verse for you, I chose it because I want you to learn this early. I want you to know where your worth and beauty comes from. You may not understand it now, but I know you will soon.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
I love you, you wonderful gift from God.
Love,
Aunt Molly
An Ode to Easter April 9, 2009
Well, it’s that time of year again. Time to dust off your white patent shoes, floral dresses, and white hats. Yes friends, it’s Easter time. Easter is one of my favorite times of the year because of how I am reminded of the victory I have as a redeemed child of God. It’s amazing.
But today I want to focus on the traditions surrounding my Easter celebration. I like to call it “An Ode to Easter”
For as long as I can remember I have always purchased a new Easter dress, when I was younger the said dress involved all manners of flowers, bows, and pastel colors. Which is completely wrong because if you know me, you know that I dislike wearing pastel colors on my person, just never suited my personality. There was one year that I got to wear a hot pink dress with a navy blue sailors collar, and a big, hot pink bow with navy blue trim. What can I say-it was the 90’s.
Then we come to the shoes. Oh, the shoes. Normally my mom would take to to Penney’s or Belk’s and purchase a pair of white patent leather shoes with a bow on the buckle. Are you noticing a theme? Maybe, just maybe my mom liked her daughter in bows, I don’t know, it’s just a guess. I would also wear white tights, the kind that make your legs look like they haven’t seen the sun in decades.
And then we come to the accessories. One year I had a purse to match my white patent leather shoes complete with, you guessed it, bows andsilk roses that were light pink and green. It was a charming ensemble, to be sure. And I would be doing a great injustice to you if I didn’t mention the hats. Yes, the little white straw hats with bows and silk roses that inevitably got lost in sunday school, only to be placed in the dress up corner.
And I have to mention the hair, oh, oh, oh, the hair. You see hair is a very important thing on Easter sunday, and my mom was always up to the task of taming my mane. This would normally involve waking me up two hours earlier than normal, bathing me, dressing me, and then plugging in the curling iron. While the curling iron was warming up, mom would blow dry my hair with a round brush to curl the ends under. After that was done, she would then curl my hair under to give it that extra little bounce. But the best part of all were the bangs. Mom would usually bring out the big curling iron for this job. It would begin by using a round brush to achieve the right level of height, and then she would seal the deal with the curling iron. Then a quick spray of hair spray, insertion of a bow, and another quick spray of hair spray, I was done.
Then it was time to go to church…
Be sure to come back tomorrow as I will be pulling some pictures from Easter’s past to show you. See you then!
Daniel and Dorins April 7, 2009
I would like to introduce you to two new friends of mine.
This is Daniel:
And this is Dorins:
Daniel lives in Ethiopia and Dorins lives in Kenya. They are both in the Compassion International Program, and have been waiting for sponsors. Dorins has been waiting for six months or more to receive a sponsor to help provide her most basic needs. I am happy to report that their waiting ends today!
I had contemplated sponsoring a child through Compassion before, but just never did it. It wasn’t until I read this post by Big Mama that I really felt called to do it. I went on Compassion’s website and looked at all the children waiting for sponsors. There were over 700 children waiting. I asked the Lord to show me which children to sponsor, and I chose Daniel and Dorins. I wish I could sponsor them all, I wish I could help all of them, and give them some sort of hope.
But now Daniel and Dorins are being released from poverty’s deadly grip, and will learn about the God who created them and loves them. Hopefully someday I can sponsor more children, I would love that. But until then I will continue to pray for and sponsor Daniel and Dorins.
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed at just how much need there is in the world around us. There are times where I just want to bury my head in the sand, and pretend it’s not there, pretend that there are not over 700 children waiting for someone to help provide their most basic needs. But I can’t do that, I’m called to action, I’m called to pray and to give where the Lord leads. I’m just amazed at how God will use us if we listen and obey, it’s not about me at all. No, it’s all about Him using cracked, imperfect vessels to be His hands and feet in an imperfect, lost, and dying world that is so desperately crying out for help.
If you would like more information on Compassion International and their ministries click here
